This is more about why we can't seem to get our proverbial poop together when it comes to the nature of political discourse.
For full disclosure, I'm a socially liberal fiscally conservative kind of guy. We actually exist, unlike other mythical creatures such as unicorns, cerberus, and skilled Twinkie factory workers. Needless to say, I am in a perpetual state of imbalance as I have to deal with my heart and head constantly.
The impetus for this post was me finishing Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. If you have any interest in history, this has been my favorite book so far. This is coming from a guy who found books about salt, cod, and the Sistine Chapel to be fascinating. So when you add in one bad mother like Lincoln, our greatest struggle as a nation in the Civil War, and impeccable story telling by a Pulitzer Prize winning author, it becomes a great read. The story telling is so good I at one point caught myself saying, "Hopefully he doesn't get John Wilkes Boothed in this story!"
Spoiler alert: The North still wins.
So what does a book that covers the life of Lincoln's supreme political genius have to do with the current political state?
First, politics have always divided any group of diverse people.
Second, as bad as you think we have it, it was no where near as bad as it was between the Whigs (and Republicans) and Democrats.
History lesson time!
Massachusetts Senator Sumner was literally caned within an inch of his life in 1856 during the Kansas-Missouri crisis by Congressman Preston Brooks because of personal verbal attacks on Brooks' cousin that were made in a speech by Sumner. This set the stage for the bloodiest conflict our nation has ever been a part of.
Third: someone needs to exhume Lincoln and most likely Jefferson and go all Jurassic Park cloning on their bones because we have a dearth of leadership from both sides. Let's just hope Lincoln doesn't velociraptor our faces because we've become as dumb as cattle
We've faced a revolution against the mightiest modern day empire, civil war that cleaved the nation in to two, two world wars, a Cold War that cost us trillions of dollars and nuclear proliferation, and direct attacks on American soil. Now we are faced with. . . (cue dramatic and foreboding music) the FISCAL CLIFF!
W.T.F.
This isn't a crisis. This is a glorified word problem that we solved in pre-algebra. Billy spends a $1.10 each day to sell apples but makes $0.90 selling apples. Is Billy running a good business? Let me think about this...
"Carry the one, subtract the two. Apply quadratic formula..." Answer: No.
I'm not going to blame the news machines, apparent demagoguery being played out by our politician leaders and radical actors that have hijacked our political system on both sides because blaming both sides that have the collective IQ of an empty mayonnaise jar won't get me anywhere.
(That's right, both sides a stupidly and utterly wrong. Both sides are beholden to minority interest holders. While we are at it, neither side has a mandate so do what the rest of us are doing and do your apparently god forsaken jobs.)
So here is what I propose:
First:
Let's use the government for the people and petition the EPA for the conservation of moderate politicians as a protected species. It fits all the requirements:
Their habitat is being destroyed (oh hai network news channels!), introductory species are competing for resources (voters incredulously supporting tea-party, far-left liberals) and their numbers are dwindling precipitously.
Move over Spotted Tree Owl and Yangtze River Dolphin, I give you the logic filled and reasonable legislator!
Second:
To all the partisan legislators, whenever you think of something to propose, I'd like you to follow these simple steps:
1. Put down the phone.
2. Find a gently used 2x4 or rubber mallet.
3. Bludgeon yourself until you lose consciousness.
4. Upon awakening, bludgeon yourself again.
5. Seek brain stem replacement therapy involving a bonobo or three-toed sloth.
Your muddled brains apparently can't look back at the bi-partisan proposal that was put forth and agreed to on a majority (albeit not a super majority) basis in 2010. All these machinations and lurchings towards a paltry tax rate increase on the devil incarnated wealthy and possible means testing of entitlements pales in comparison to the well thought out Simpson Bowles plan.
Why the general public, media outlets and remaining moderate politicians aren't shouting this from the rooftops is beyond me. The current negotiations feel like the doctors quibbling over the size of the gauze pad that is needed to stop a paper cut on the left arm but fail to see the gangrenous atrophied right arm with a staph infection running from radius to humerus.
Yes, many people on both sides aren't happy with everything. As I've found out in my business dealings, that's usually the first step in the right direction. So let's as a nation do our best to remove ourselves from pledges to people named Grover and something called Progressive Change Campaign Committee.
As an aside, the only pledge I'd make to something named Grover would have to involve Sesame Street and looking forward to sunny days.
Also, a pledge? Really? The last pledge I made was to not let stinky girls with cooties in my forts while stock piling dirt clods to fend off the inevitable zombie coyote attack my friends had witnessed on the other side of the canal where we lived in Mesa.
Put down the Zealtory for Dummies and use the neurons that our supreme maker gave us. Now isn't the time to be penny wise, pound foolish.
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